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Save Our Irony

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The term irony suffers from critical overuse. Since this is a non-renewable resource, there is the possibility that there will be no sufficient term left to describe the high quantity of actual irony that occurs in today’s world. More descriptive words, such as tragedy and coincidence, have been supplanted by irony, and have fallen out of favor, since neither term is featured in an Alanis Morissette song.

The following terms fall under the broad classification of sub-irony, and should be used to preserve the term "i***y" for future generations. With your help, we may indeed save this precious etymological resource.

Usage: if you plan to say "that's so ironic", try instead to say:

That's so. . .

Chevronic – any gas-guzzling vehicle adorned with environmental bumper stickers.

Pirranhic - when anyone falls to their death tragically in a river in Brazil, and is consumed by piranhas, even though they are a vegetarian.

Colonic – any time a health-food fanatic dies from their own diet.

Iranic - the mistake of attacking a country for possession of weapons of mass destruction, when in fact such weapons are held by its neighbor.

Moronic - that democracy means that the majority of idiots will choose idiots to represent them.

Germanic – any nation with a bloody past criticizing the warmongering of another.

Koranic – the twisting of any religious text to justify war

FortTryonic – describes the real estate woes of those forced to move from Lower Manhattan to Washington Heights.

Bionic - when no amount of special effects can prevent a bad movie from underperforming at the box office

Chironic - when the richest nation in the world provides disastrous health care.

Manolo-blahnic – that in any sitcom, poor characters with marginal employment seem to live fabulous, expensive lifestyles

Cyranic – that the ugly, smart guy never, ever gets the girl.

Byronic – major literary prizes awarded to books no one will ever read.

Clintonic - conservatives that are caught using illicit drugs, hiring prostitutes, committing adultery, enjoying kinky public sex or gambling compulsively.

Supersonic - when rich liberals fly Gulfstream jets and protest global warming.

Paris-hiltonic – that no bad sex act goes unpunished.


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