Fox Named Director of HenHouse Security
Posted February 24, 2005
Manual Renard has been announced as the Administration's new director
of Henhouse Security. Mr. Renard is a fox, and is the first member of
Genus Vulpes to be appointed to a cabinet-level position.
His family is the typical American dream story, rising out of
the brink of extinction to amass wealth and success. "I've worked
closely with poultry, er, chickenkind my entire life. If anyone knows
how to protect them, I think I fit that bill."
Poultry advocates are concerned. "Mr. Renard cares about the
foxes. He's been lobbying for the relaxation of henhouse security
regulations for years," read a statement by F. Leghorn, executive
director of Gallus International, a non-profit organization dedicated
to the wellbeing of chickens everywhere. "The administration makes
clear with this choice that it is more interested in pleasing private
industry than providing security for the nation's chickens."
"Gallus International doesn't like Mr. Renard because he's a
fox, plain and simple. It's racism. We should not let these bigots
cloud the confirmation process," said the White House spokesman.
Mr. Renard, in his confirmation testimony, swore that his
primary duty in this position was to answer to the President. As to the
recent discovery of fried chicken recipes in his office, he promises,
"I did not write these." The press has accepted his explanation.
Republican Senators from states with high chicken populations are
expected to side with their President. The Democratic opposition,
fearful of being labeled obstructionist, is expected to go along as
copyright 2004-2017 G. Xavier Robillard