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Live Earth Raises Awareness, Ticket Prices

Posted July 9, 2007

Live Earth, the concert across the globe that features Madonna, the Police, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dave Matthews Band, Bon Jovi and Metallica, to name a few, has shattered all known records for power consumption within a single concert. The event surpassed energy use of the original Woodstock, Lollapalooza, and North Carolina's popular Methane Fest. Environmentalists were excited to garner so much awareness in global warming; concert promoters hope to usher in a new era of megashows to raise awareness of how awesome huge concerts can be.

The concert harnessed never-before used the global digital network of television, radio, pirate mp3 sites and cell phone cameras to deliver a powerful message about global warming across cultures, a message that simply says: our global digital network is really complicated.

As amps turned on, lights flickered and air conditioners stopped when power was diverted from several cities to deliver this amazing spectacle of hope. "If we can exceed the annual power usage of Bangladesh in one weekend, I think we've made a difference," said Sting. "It must be more effective than Farm Aid. I mean really, farmers are still there, and all the concerts in the world have done nothing to change that."

Concert promoters are excited that that this new mega-concert will shift bands away from intimate venues with high sound quality and lower profits. Organizers for Live Earth plan to stage a Wu-Tang concert with one or two members in each time zone, plus members in the International Space Station, and a few others they haven't figured out what to do with yet. "We were surprised that Global Warming could sell that much merch," said promoter Kevin Wall.

Alternative energy sources were used wherever possible wind, solar, biodeisel, and egothermal (provided by Police frontman Sting) all demonstrate that you can consume a lot more energy with a giant concert than you can by staying home, which most pop stars consider boring and unprofitable.

Scientists are thrilled that the concerts have raised so much money, but they aren't quite sure what will become of it. "The earth itself has no use for currency," explained climatologist Pete Mantua. "It doesn't go out much, and carries around everything it needs."

 

 

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