Filed Under Politics
To Combat Image Problems, Mexico Changes Name to Steve
Posted May 4, 2009
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In an effort to re-brand itself as a tourist-friendly, safe destination, the Mexican government has announced that from today forward the country to the south of the United States will now be referred to as "Steve," or more formally, Estados Unidos Steve.The sweeping change is meant to revitalize a country which has been plagued with waves of drug violence, kidnappings, corruption, undrinkable water, an underperforming soccer team, swine flu and yes, even plague.
The name change will effect every part of the nation, including renaming the capital city to "Steve City" and the nation's currency will be referred to as the "steve-o". Though the peso is used as the currency throughout Latin America, government officials decided that the name was too much like a joke, and everyone in the country needed a fresh start.
Steve's president, Felipe Calderon, has remarked on how difficult it has been to make this change. "You get something like this through the Congress and it doesn't seem like a big deal. But then you have to make changes on passports, the postal system, and all our nation's credit cards, driver's license, utility bills. We'll be filling out change of address cards for months!"
"Steve's economy is on the point of collapse," continued Calderon. "It is our hope that we can put all of the troubles of Mexico behind us. Think about it: you cannot say "Mexico" without saying "sick."
Most citizens of Steve are behind the name change. "Mexico sounds like the kind of a country you visit to get the clap," said Amanda Blanco, a chimichanga dealer in Steve City. "Steve is friendly, confident, definitely not the kind of place you'd contract a swine-borne illness or get kidnapped just because you happen to hang out at the wrong beach."
There are some critics out there who complain that a better name might have been "Esteban," the Spanish equivalent to Steve, but Calderon was dismissive. "Honestly, Esteban sounds like the name of a drug dealer."
copyright 2004-2017 G. Xavier Robillard