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Sony Sues Santa

Posted December 26, 2006

Sony Corporation has announced plans for a suit against Santa Claus, for illegally shipping the Playstation 3 out of the North Pole to children in Europe, America and Asia. The company claims that only Sony-certified distributors may move the popular game platform, and that the toys destined for the North Pole had a different feature set than those toys bound for Europe and America.

Mr. Claus elfin lawyer, Evergreen Ticklebunny, does not dispute Sony's charge. "We're shocked that Sony wouldn't want us to ship the merchandise, since they've hard time getting the Playstation to stores on time."

In legal papers, the Sony Corporation wants to make sure that the new Playstation is removed from each and every household that receives one from Claus. "It states clearly in our contract that these units are to remain in the North Pole," said Sony spokesman.

It's not the first time Mr. Claus has run afoul of copyright and trademark laws. His workshop in the North Pole is known as a haven for cheap knockoff toys that are distributed during the Christmas season.

"We were honest about our intent," said Mr. Ticklebunny. "We paid full wholesale cost for these units, and received no volume discounts. Santa would prefer to give out Nintendo's Wii, but they're sold out until 2025." The North Pole toyshop has also looked at becoming a distributor for the Microsoft Xbox, but determined that the licensing restrictions were too severe. "Microsoft wanted us to sign an agreement stating that we would only give toys out to households with Windows, and we found that to be a violation of our brand," said Claus' marketing director Mistletoe Applepants.

It is not known whether Mr. Claus' toy distribution center will be able to continue after this latest lawsuit. Some suggest that his business model, which involves the exchange of dozens of presents per household in exchange for milk and cookies harks back to the carefree days of the dot-com era. Snowglobe Jellybottom, a public relations elf, lamented that "we can't even compete with Walmart. Even though we're giving toys away, Walmart's still cheaper."



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