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Five Ways To Save the Earth (and take advantage of hot savings)

Posted April 22, 2007

Buy More Stuff
Everybody knows they should recycle, but who's motivated? The truth is, the only way you're going to start recycling is if you run out of room in your closet. So get out there and start buying. The more stuff you buy, the more you'll want to recycle! Did you buy Earth Day presents for everyone you know? It's not too late to take advantage of our Earth Day Extra Savings Extravaganza -- 25% off of everything! Wrap it all up with attractive 3% post consumer recycled paper. Remember, it's hard to recycle if you don't have any plastic packaging to get rid of.

-Retail Association of America

Enjoy Local Food
If you walk (or drive) to a local KFC, you can buy delicious Chikken Stripz with the Colonel's own local BBQ sauce for only $4.99 ($7.89 for the combo), which you'll fork over to the local high school kid behind the counter. Also enjoy a locally poured soda or the locally thawed then warmed dessert.

-Your Local Fast Food Restaurants

Watch An Inconvenient Truth(in the DVD player of your Cadillac Escalade while driving over sand dunes)
There's no better way to connect to the environment than driving in it. Every once in a while you can pause the movie to yell, "Kids look outside! It's the environment!"

-Automakers of America

Start Smoking
Let's face it: the earth's atmosphere is getting more dangerous each day. It's safer to breath cigarette smoke than the noxious cocktail of carbon dioxide, oxygen and nitrogen that pollute our air. Our highly trained tobaccologists and other scientists have proved that you can decrease carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases by increasing the amount of carbon monoxide and menthol vapor in the air. What better way to chill the globe's temperature than with a delicious satisfying Kool?

- Tobacco Lobby

Invite Sheep Into Your Apartment
Remember how your parents taught you to turn the heat down and put on a sweater? Take that extra environmental step and buy your own herd of sheep. They’re so toasty warm, each sheep is guaranteed to raise the temperature of your apartment by 20 degrees. Sheep: the warmer white meat.

-National Cattlemen's Association



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G is for Gangsta (comedy album)


Captain Freedom (novel)

Buy it at Amazon, Powell's or your favorite Indie.

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