Ford's New Zero Emissions SUV Powered by Union Labor

Male Aphrodisiacs

The O'Reilly France Boycott: Three Years Later


Find me on Twitter

Find me on Facebook

Filed Under Life

Dieting Book Proposal

Posted September 11, 2007

1 comment posted. Read it now.

Eat Right and Exercise, the newest fad diet, will help you lose pounds and keep them off. This book details the simple 15 step program. There are just two parts, really to the diet, and they are eating right and exercising, but I think people don't really get that, and since we want this book to be longer than a sentence I've included a potential outline. I just don't see what's wrong with these people. Eat right. Exercise. Duh.

Chapter Outline

  1. Eat right and exercise is that really so hard a concept to master?
  2. Shut your fucking piehole and stop eating a first step to eating right and exercising.
  3. This ain't South Beach sweet cheeks.
  4. Can you even breath oxygen between bites, piglet?
  5. I'll bet you drove to Borders to buy this book.
  6. 2000 calories are more than enough. Wait, you don't know what a calorie is?
  7. Stop being such a lardass and take the stairs.
  8. 30 minutes of running isn't going to hurt you (unless you're harpooned in the butt by someone who mistakes you for a whale)
  9. You probably need to rethink the fried twinkies.
  10. Fruits and vegetables ever heard of em?
  11. Buying workout clothes isn't the same as exercising
  12. Why eating right fifteen times a day is wrong.
  13. Maybe we should install the Stairmaster next to your bed so you trip onto it every morning.
  14. Buy our DVD and sequel, Seventeen More Ways to Eat Right And Exercise.
  15. Oh, you're pregnant. Sorry. We didn't know.



Comment On This Story Comments are moderated to prevent spam.
Your Name (required)

Your Email (required, not published)

Your Site (optional)

permalink this story

RSS Feed

(add your email to the mailing list)

Stuff You Buy.

G is for Gangsta (comedy album)


Captain Freedom (novel)

Buy it at Amazon, Powell's or your favorite Indie.

Politics | Toys | Tech | Life | Business | Publications | Bio | Links | Home