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Filed Under Politics

I Also Have 35 Years Experience

Posted March 3, 2008

You might not consider all my 35 years experience relevant. I have never held elected office, or even displayed a political bumper sticker on my car or lawn sign in front of my house, but I have been prepared, honed, tempered, by 35 years of life experience.

35 years ago I was doing something the other candidates would not even consider: being born. I was ready to give up the warm comfort of the amniotic sac and move out into the cold world. Maybe I didn't want to do it, but I didn't have a choice. And I lived with the consequences.

From the very beginning of that 35 years, I was advocating for Change, specifically, for having my diaper changed. I did not want to tolerate the soggy oppression of wet diapers. I wanted a bold new, dry feeling, even if that caused me to sit bare-assed on the changing table. It was worth it. I was looking for the new.

In my thirty-five years of experience there has been constant learning, change, and growth. In 1980 I watched as the Iranian hostages were freed. It was during an elementary school assembly, which was exciting because it got me out of class. But more monumental - on that same day, I buried my goldfish. Such moments show that you are ready to move a country forward.

I would never claim to have any military service, like the esteemed Senator McCain, but my thirty-five years of experience include seven years as a Boy Scout. I was a patrol leader at a very early time, and taught younger boys valuable lessons on how to haze those annoying little Cub Scouts by making them search for compass grease.

Perhaps I never edited the Harvard Law Review, but by 1990, I was submitting very strongly worded letters to the editor of my hometown newspaper. At this time I was also an accomplished contributor to my high school literary magazine.

I could easily fit right in and take charge at the White House. I haven't lived in the White House, like some candidates, but I have lived in a house. Not a ranch, or a split-level, but a three bedroom, two bath house. And how different could that be from the White House? It's got bedrooms and a few extra johns, but seriously, it's just another house. And the house I grew up was not a white house, but it did have some white accents.

So please, consider that my 35 years of experience, which include formative years like high school, college, and several years of minimum wage jobs, into account as you choose your president. I have done so much with my 35 years of experience there are entire periods I cannot remember. But they couldn't have all been bad.

 

 

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