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Stop The Presses Dick Cheney Apologizes!

Posted June 4, 2008

1 comment posted. Read it now.

The notoriously tight lipped Vice President issued a long waited apology yesterday. The mea culpa does not explain his part in overselling the Iraq war, prisoner abuse scandals or torture memos, but rather his poorly received incest joke about the state of West Virginia.

The normally brilliant tactician never got the memo that West Virginians don't particularly like the incest jokes that have long plagued their state, and that making such jokes about a swing state in an election year might not be the best plan. This is a particularly sensitive topic, as support for the Bush Administration's War on Incest has become critically low.

Mr. Cheney attempted his usual methods of deflection and blaming victims, but when his plan to discredit the entire state of West Virginia failed, he decided he had better apologize.

It is believed that Cheney had a recent operation which as a side affect allows him to feel shame and remorse, and this apology was just the first in a long line. Cheney staff claims that the Vice President will continue to make apologies for the rest of the term, and the Sorry's will culminate with his expressing regrets for shooting that guy that time.

In related news, the item confirms that Mr. Cheney is in fact still alive, a fact that has been under question for some time.



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