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Filed Under Politics

Republicans Become the Party Party

Posted September 4, 2008

Long known for its tolerance for drug use, sexual behavior, and alternate lifestyles, it’s no surprise that the Republican Party embraced John McCain’s pick of pot smoking party girl Sarah Palin as his vice presidential candidate.

What is a little more surprising is that Governor Palin’s daughter became pregnant, especially since the State of Alaska has spent millions to have "The Talk" with its children. And by "The Talk", we mean the "no sex before marriage even though this state is very cold, covered in darkness and snow for half the year, there's not a lot to do and there's a lot of alcohol everywhere."

Reaction at the Republican convention in Saint Paul are unified. One delegate’s response to a direct question of whether abstinence education is working, suggested that "kids will be kids".

Kids Will Be Kids is in fact the new slogan that the Republican Party embraces as it lets its hair down and shows everyone that it is the laid back party that brought us the 1960’s. Corresponding planks to this message are “illegal immigrants will be illegal immigrants”, “terrorists will be terrorists”, and, most radically, “a warming planet that could threaten our entire way of life will be a warming planet that could threaten our entire way of life”.

At this point, the only risky activity the GOP refuses to condone is "heavy vetting".

Democrats have issued a terse and relevant rebuttal to the Palin pick: "if Republican Secretary of State William Seward had never purchased Alaska from the Russians for a fiscally unconservative $7 million in 1867 we wouldn't even be debating this issue."



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