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Summertime, Red and Blue Style

Posted September 20, 2005

Equinox Bloc Party, Portland, Oregon
Schedule Of Events (not necessarily in that order)
Most of these activities count as extra-curriculars for those of you concerned about college.

Water-fight Peace
Without a single person getting wet, all participants will practice non-violence and uniform surrender of water balloons, Super Soakers, and water pistols.

Protest March and Parade
Pick up an instrument, make some banners and signs, and shake your thing as we head to City Hall to protest the cruel exploitation and cooptation of lycopene by Big Ketchup.

Buddha Shrine Realignment
Find inner peace as you decorate the garden of the Enlightened One. Learn how to make a Zen rock garden, and how to analyze its Feng Shui.

Toy Drive
Give away your toys to charity. Children of all ages can learn to practice non-attachment by giving away their favorite, beloved toys.

End of Summer Riboff Roundup, Pocatello, Idaho
Schedule Of Events (Don't Be Late)

11 am Lord of the Fries
Your kids compete to eat the most fried food. The winner of the great event will be pronounced Cardiac King, and get a free week at the Last Days Survivalist Bunker. Proceeds to Tom Delay's legal defense fund.

1 pm Snuff Sampling Representatives of tobacco companies will hand out FREE samples of snuff. Come one, come all. Teach your kids to establish brand preference early. A raffle will give away engraved silver spittoons, both child and adult size.

2 pm Salute to the Minutemen
Our local NRA chapter supplies the bullets for a 21 gun salute to those brave patriots who protect our borders.

3 pm Faith Healing Circus (donation mandatory)
Meet the Reverend Nash Graham-Cash, second cousin to the great Evangelist Billy Graham. Rev. Cash will entertain your children with balloon dogs, teach them Bible parables with his Way Of ChristTM puppets (on sale at concessions), give his famous sermon God, The Republican, and as an encore, perform various healing acts. We invite anyone who was harmed in the mysterious blast outside the Army's testing facility to skip to the head of the line.



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