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Christian Group Boycotts Narnia

Posted December 8, 2005

The group Christians Against Lions has called for a boycott against the upcoming film Lion, the Witch, and The Wardrobe, complaining that the film is rife with immorality. In a press release, they state their intention to ban a film with references to the occult and pagan mythology that mocks Scripture.

"All the action begins with a Wardrobe. This is a British term for closet," says boycott organizer Webster Haak. "It features a group of schoolchildren, siblings at that, whose first action is to step out of the closet into Narnia. The overtones are quite obvious.

"And that faun, Mr. Tumnus? There isn't a gayer half-devil/half-goat in the history of literature. From what I understand, the word 'tumnus' has been appropriated by the gay movement, to describe some unspeakable, vile sex act."

Christians Against Lions is a sub-group of the mainstream Christains Against Cats, which was formed in 1996, to prevent the glorification of cats in cinema.

Lions aren't the only problem

"Think about it," continues Reverend Waak. "C.S. Lewis wrote a novel, The Screwtape Letters, in which the protagonist is a devil. How could an emissary of Satan be expected to communicate Christian values?"

Other Christian groups disagree. "Sometimes, to provide for the spiritual wellbeing of our parish, we like to go out to the movies, just like anyone. If that means using our ministry to rent tour busses and buy thousands of movie tickets, rather than feeding and clothing the poor, that's what we must do. Plus it's supposed to have great special effects, and a bit of hidden Aramaic dialog," responds the Reverend Wincy Phillips of American Family Force.

Filmmakers have made history, by adding subtitles that explain the religious significance of each scene. The text will be altered for different demographics, and in a special Indian version, Aslan will appear as the Elephant-god Ganesh.

Disney, who has sponsored the first installment of the Narnia series, will start the theatrical release with a prayer breakfast, in hopes that the Lord will provide the beginnings of a successful, seven-film juggernaut. The company also has plans for an animated film, "Finding Jesus", a heartwarming cartoon about a clown fish's path to Christ.



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