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Drugs Stage Intervention for Pete Doherty

Posted May 14, 2007

Worried about the increasing influence of family, friends, and fans, well known narcotics have staged an intervention with Babyshambles' singer Pete Doherty. The drugs are concerned with the direction Doherty's life has been taking since his increasing involvement with 'clean' folks. Gathering together, several different pharmaceuticals gathered with Pete and discussed just how bad a lack of drugs could be.

The rock musician has waged a very public battle against various substances, and has been jailed multiple times in a day for possession. But the drugs remind him that they respect him as an artist. "I've known Pete a long time," said Heroin, who led the intervention. "Until this week, he's never missed an appointment with his dealer. If he continues this way he'll hit rock bottom."

"It's a real worry," agreed Morphine. "What if he should drive a car and get into a crash? If he isn't high at the time, it's going to really hurt."

The drugs became attuned to the problem when the musician's girlfriend, Supermodel Kate Moss, started to talk about wanting a family. "Families have a terrible impact on a drug habit," said Opium. And what about your music. Steve Winwood gave up drugs. Do you want to sound like Steve Winwood?"

All the drugs involved hope to get him out of rehab and back into a jail cell where he'll have better access to their attention. "Just remember," the drugs concluded. "When you were all alone, blacked out and in a pool of vomit and/or blood, the drugs were there for you. In your system."

Certain drugs felt like it was not there place to intervene. "I'm not going to wait around for him to call me," said Cocaine who was out partying with Meth and Special K. "I'm busy. Things to do."

"I'm not worried," said a slightly tipsy Pint Of Guinness. "Friends come and go. But a pint is forever."

 

 

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