DNA – a series of biologically coded messages handed down by the Creator that, when cross referenced with the Book Of Numbers, proves that the Jayhawks will one day vanquish the Corn Huskers.
Dinosaurs - reptiles invented in Japan to sell disaster movies.
Global Warming – will give us beachfront property.
Chemistry – that spark between a couple when they fall in love.
Couple - a man and a woman (not necessarily related).
Quantum Physics – the study of atheism.
Evolution – see Genesis.
Asexual Reproduction - the preferred method. Otherwise known as the missionary position.
Peer Review - synonymous with peer pressure. "Facts" such as global warming appear in peer-reviewed journals because everyone else is doing it.
Scientific Method -- another name for the rhythm method, which has been passed in Kansas as the preferred form of birth control
Rectangle - that a geographic shape so mirrors the shape of our own state is proof of God's divine plan.
Environment - an inhospitable place with mountains, rivers, and no shopping, i.e. Colorado.
Theory – a hyperbole that is tested by the scientific method.
Acid Rain - a drug that turned young students into foaming liberals.
Nothing – is exactly what's the matter with Kansas.
High Tech/biotech – industries we'd like to attract to our state.