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Filed Under Life

Obama's Diplomatic Skills Threatened by Very Ugly Dog

Posted November 17, 2008

It's the pride of Peru. The Dog of Kings. It's hairless, has giant ears, is occasionally toothless with good looks that make the average rodent feel better about itself. It's the Peruvian Hairless, and it just might go to the White House.

In a craven election promise President-elect Obama offered his daughters a puppy but since Malia has allergies, and the new Administration refuses to cave in to the Pharma lobby and give her medicine, they need to find a suitable, hypoallergenic dog. Or just get the girls a Roomba, which is cute and helps clean the house.

Enter the nation of Peru, which has offered the Obama family a four-month-old Peruvian Hairless puppy named Machu Picchu. The hairless breed of dog was revered by the Incan kings of old and is said to even mitigate asthma and arthritis.

"They do not cause any type of allergy and are very friendly and sweet," said Claudia Galvez, 38, director of the Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association.

Should they go with the dog Malia's allergies will be fine, because Machu Picchu is ugly enough to clear the room.

But, how would the Obama transition team handle rejecting this most awesome offer? Explain that accepting it...

  • Would show favoritism to Peru and jeopardize trade talks with Colombia.
  • Could force the Obama under the dog's mental control because of its obvious scary brain power.
  • Sends the wrong message about preferential treament to big-eared beings.
  • Would put an end to all elementary school field trips due to frightened children.
  • Looks like an overt endorsement of Taco Bell.
  • Would alienate the Furries whose support has been so critical to the Obama victory.
Originally Published in Indecision 2008

 

 

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