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Job Hunting Tips in the Facebook Age

Posted July 6, 2009

3 comments posted. Read them now.

Dear Potential Job Applicants,

Congratulations on graduating from college! As you know by now there is something of a job shortage, so it is important to capitalize on certain behavior as you transition from dorm life to a career. These habits are especially important in an age of increased media scrutiny, whether you have a Facebook profile or you are a former Vice Presidential Candidate. Try to avoid these pratfalls if you are looking to find a job in the future, such as 2012.

Quitting Your Job at the Dairy Queen/State Capitol, leaving everyone else scrambling to clean up your mess
Unlike the governorship of Alaska, the Dairy Queen doesn't have a Lieutenant Governor person sitting around all day waiting for you to not show up to work. If you quit your job without sufficient notice you'll force Brenda to work extra shifts, and people may judge you and your work ethic.

Using Facebook to complain about your ex-boyfriend/ Using Facebook to complain about elitist National Media
Please keep in mind, any potential employer who's halfway literate will see your online rants about the ex-boyfriend or the New York Times and think you're just a little too catty and unstable to have around the water cooler/Pentagon.

Dressing Inappropriately for Work/Wearing $700 glasses and claiming to be "jus folks."
Nobody wants to see your thong while at work (except Steve the night shift manager) or exactly what boxers you happen to wear because they're a full yard higher your baggy pants because you can't be bothered to own a belt. You never wore your prom dress to the Dairy Queen job and although the designer eyewear looks good it sometimes clashes with the flannel shirts.

Posting Images of Yourself Doing Nude Body Shots While Riding A Mechanical Bull And Throwing Molotov Cocktails at A Church/ Emailing your boss's campaign manager to convince him to lie about your husband's political affiliations
Do we really have to explain this one? If your friends tag a photo of you in the mechanical bull pit it'll be out there for everyone to see. The only reason to allow anyone to film you doing nude body shots while riding the mechanical bull is if the job you're looking for is circus clown. Or President of the United States.

Showing Up Unprepared for Interviews/Showing Up Unprepared for Interviews
The job interview is the point at which you show your potential employer how you're different and deserve the job. Rambling as if you've been cramming all night while hopped up on crank will make people worried that you take a lax approach in your preparation.



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